11/11-11/12

so last night i.e. 11:55 pm my two of my three room mates and I decided there was a great need for more scallion pancakes (also I’ve always know them as onion pancakes if that clarifies the image of the pastry for anyone). So we frantically searched for Chinese places that would still deliver- all of which said delivery ended at 12 am but despite this in desperation for our vegetable treat (never thought I’d combine those words) my roomie continuously dialed places asking if in fact they still made deliveries five minutes before they closed. we of course found one that did but they did not have our onion flap jacks and so the mission was quickly aborted. a wave of surrendering to the fact that no where in the village would a 24 hour Chinese place that delivered exist but my determination was not so easily swayed and this insanity did eventually yield to our dreams coming true- a man coming to our door onion pancakes in hand. The three of us had our chinese cuisine across our desks gulping down our green hot cakes while watching random videos on Youtube (including clips of despicable me which of course i had to find the dancing chicken nugget like figures terrifying).

then our friend knocked and asked if we wished to accompany him to a 24 hour Ukrainian restaurant- a perfectly average question at 2 am. I was so tempted to join him even despite our last experience- which is the only adequate way to describe what we experienced seated in the seemingly normal table in the back of little Ukraine. dramatic tv show flashback (that’s usually more confusing than sensical)... when we first entered the restaurant we seemed to be alone as patrons until we heard squawking forty year old women in dresses shorter than an “edgy” camo one a 13 year girl old would wear. They sat across the restaurant and then preceded to demand in support of their “dire” need for sparkling water. They must have sensed my strong gravitational pull for crazy people because then the two middle aged women moved to the one table directly behind us. Sadly the bizarre presences only continued to multiply, as a just beyond middle aged man who looked unfortunately similar to Gene Simmons in a plaid t-shirt ,that should be left to the urban outfitters and american apparel prodigies of the west village, joined them and around his short arm was a woman with more plastic in her face then joan rivers (and yes i realize the seriousness of my claim). they quartet proceeded to discuss their various risque (to say the least) endeavors, including gene simmons outing his girlfriend (joan rivers) as a well known porn star whom he stalked through facebook for a date (totally ugly sad). i believe the phrase of adoration he chose was “she was just like angelina jolie to me”. and then to the left of us a man highly intoxicated entered in a navy tee with the american flag proudly apost a flag pole gloriously blowing in the wind. he spent a good twenty minutes explaining Jesus to the waiter (who must just be used to this sort of thing) till he eventually got to ordering fried eggs but once they arrived he left the restaurant to get to his truck where he got a cigarette and another bottle of courage. with both hands full he stuck his leg perpendicular to a tree and held it there for an impressive amount of time, returned to the restaurant tied a bandana around his arm with his teeth and then and only then began to go at his eggs. the man behind him was on his fourth course of beef stroganoff and was making noises after his fork met his lips that i would prefer not to detail here. after i finished my perrogies and my friend his poppyseed bread and yogurt we left feeling unbelievably amazed at what he had just been surrounded by. just another “morning” i guess but what is more sad is i’d go back again.

well for f*cks sake why not.